Um pequeno apontamento...

Amor incondicional...
Isso existe? Amar alguém de forma completa, sem condições, sem restrições, sem reservas, doar-se sem pedir nada em troca e aceitando tudo? Afinal o que é isto? Não estou a falar do amor por um filho porque esse sim acredito plenamente que seja incondicional, imensurável e infindável... não é a isso que me refiro, nem quero ir por aí.
Estou aqui a divagar sim, sobre amar aquela pessoa que achamos que nos completa, que nos faz feliz, com quem queremos estar. Será possível amar alguém assim mais que tudo? Mais que a nós mesmos? Isto porque o ser humano é egoísta, nós estamos com as pessoas de quem gostamos porque essas pessoas nos fazem sentir felizes, ou seja, gostamos do ou dos, sentimentos que essas pessoas nos fazem sentir. As condições existem sempre, o tempo todo? Ou pelo contrário a ausência de qualquer condição é real, só às vezes, o tempo todo, ou nunca? As pessoas são mesmo capazes de amar desta forma ou serão só os animais que o conseguem fazer?
Será que o amor é tudo ou nada? Ou temos/damos tudo ou não temos/damos nada?

 ...O mundo não é preto e branco...

E dar apenas sem receber... é saudável? É bom? É amor? É lindo e fantástico fazer os outros felizes, e isso claro tem as suas recompensas... mas e dar até tal ponto que nos esquecermos de nós?
Prefiro estradas com dois sentidos do que vias de sentido único. Para haver um Nós, tem de haver um Eu e um Tu. Se algum destes desaparece ou de esbate o Nós também se irá diluir e enfraquecer.
Sei lá... tudo isto são ideias soltas que por vezes se passeiam na minha mente... divagações... não necessariamente crenças inabaláveis e imutáveis, nada disto é vinculativo.
E sei que nem sempre faço muito sentido nestas divagações, mas nem tudo tem de fazer sentido, nem tudo tem de ser uma verdade pura... neste momento apetece-me apenas... escrever.
Eu sei sim que sou alguém incondicionalmente em mudança, e felizmente as minha opiniões, crenças, sentimentos e desejos vão mudando e evoluindo. Ficar estática é que não!

This autumn tastes like pommegranate

Love it!

Strange are these feelings

What to do when you miss someone? 
I have to say I don't miss you every day... but today, I miss you now, I miss you this instant... but... oh well... I'll forget again, this nosthalgia shall pass...
We'll meet once more, our eyes will cross, we'll smile and say hi and I'll leave once more feeling your eyes lingering on me... but there's no way I'm turning back, I'm not going down that road once again.
There you have it! I miss you now. I won't miss you tomorrow. I might not even miss you in an hour, or I might still!
How very strange are this feelings that come and go with no warning.

What does the rain brings?

It's raining... Here I am thinking about millions of things... feeling good and sooo confortable. I remember all the fires I put out, some of them started and fueled by myself... Losses and victorys, I have them all... There´s no better feeling than feeling good in our own skin... and I do right now. 
It's raining outside and I'm happy and feeling close to what's important to me. We find our own hapiness within ourselves and not in other people's hands, even though others are part of that same hapiness, we build it. 
It's raining...

This Karmic fixation

Here we are, suspended in a moment. Time stopped...
It's hard for you to breath and I wonder... can I stay? 
You're never too far even when we pretend it. We put obstacles between us, one after the other... and we walk away again and again.
And you wonder what I'll say. Avoiding each other's gaze, but still your eyes search for me to see who I'm with, to devour my figure in a glimpse... and I, I too look at you for a second and feel inebriated by your perfume. Is this devlish or divine? My karmic fixation...
These invisible ties bond us helplessly. We walk in circles and don't dare to get close. I go to his arms, you go to where you have to be.
We can never be too close or we'll be consumed by the fire. Sometimes I wonder "what if...?", but then, I still walk away.
Despite the quemistry and the electricity, something conspires to keep us apart for so long. Life goes on as usual, but those moments still exist, our paths cross without really touching.
You can´t admit it to yourself, but it leaves you restless, it haunts your toughts. You feel strangely possessed by it... I'm you karmic fixation.
I know your colors, do you know mine? It seems that we hear the same music but desincronized. Will we ever stop and give in to each other?
Can we ever fix this karma and just walk forward?
Will we ever believe?

Qualquer um de nós já fez ou disse algo de que depois se arrependeu... até dizem por aí que errar é humano. Às vezes fazemos cada coisa que em qualquer outra ocasião nos pareceria estúpido ou impossível, mas naquele momento se apresenta como a melhor ideia possível. É claro que me arrependo de coisas que fiz, mas acho que me arrependo mais das coisas que não fiz, seja por indecisão, seja por receio do que depois adviria dali.
Ambas as opções me incomodam mas quando não faço algo que poderia ter feito, isso deixa-me um amargo de boca, uma sensação estranha por não saber o que poderia ter acontecido e quais as implicações que tal teria na minha vida actualmente. Por outro lado, também não é bom arrepender-me de algo que fiz e ficar a pensar em como fui estúpida ao ponto de cair naquela asneira, mas nesta situação procuro pelo menos aprender algo para não voltar a cair no mesmo.
Actos impulsivos todos temos, e ainda bem.

To reflect upon

A red this text onde and found it to be interesting, so here it is.

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER? 

During a seminar, a woman asked, "How do I know if I am with the right person?" The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer. Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling. Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! 

xD