Loosing myself

If I want to loose myself?
I guess I do...
... in you... in someone...
... in a real dream...
... in time... in space...
in a bright set of eyes
in your body...
but if I do, why can't I?
if only it was as easy as it seems
I still smile when I see your face,
because I know where my heart lies
even if you don't know it or don't want to know
I'm here even if you can't see me
I know I can't be reached, I'm a big mess
and I don't allow anyone to come closer...
Do I want to loose myself?
Yes I do... but I can't...
right now this is where I stand